{"id":1326,"date":"2017-07-23T11:18:19","date_gmt":"2017-07-23T18:18:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.certainly-strange.com\/?p=1326"},"modified":"2017-07-24T20:02:22","modified_gmt":"2017-07-25T03:02:22","slug":"a-plump-telvanni-bride","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.certainly-strange.com\/?p=1326","title":{"rendered":"A Plump Telvanni Bride"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.certainly-strange.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/telvanni-bride-arranged-vert-1.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-1336 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/www.certainly-strange.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/telvanni-bride-arranged-vert-1.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"1383\" srcset=\"http:\/\/www.certainly-strange.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/telvanni-bride-arranged-vert-1.png 600w, http:\/\/www.certainly-strange.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/telvanni-bride-arranged-vert-1-130x300.png 130w, http:\/\/www.certainly-strange.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/telvanni-bride-arranged-vert-1-444x1024.png 444w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 709px) 85vw, (max-width: 909px) 67vw, (max-width: 984px) 61vw, (max-width: 1362px) 45vw, 600px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Now I realize that&nbsp;Kaushad, the Ashlander Khan of the Zainab tribe, specifically asked for a <em>high-born<\/em> Telvanni noblewoman and I&#8217;m about as low-born as they come. But sometimes you have to sacrifice specifics in the name of comedy! Also, I gave that guy a slave that I dressed up like a Telvanni woman and he seemed fine with that, sooooo&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Oh yeah. And after he figures out my ruse, congratulates me on being so clever and tricky, and says that he&#8217;s <em>much<\/em> happier with the bride I gave him than he could ever be with some stuck-up, arrogant, prissy Telvanni woman&#8230; I imagine at that point he probably got served a second helping of this face:<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.certainly-strange.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/the-face.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-1328 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/www.certainly-strange.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/the-face.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"201\" height=\"201\" srcset=\"http:\/\/www.certainly-strange.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/the-face.png 201w, http:\/\/www.certainly-strange.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/the-face-150x150.png 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 201px) 85vw, 201px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Now I realize that&nbsp;Kaushad, the Ashlander Khan of the Zainab tribe, specifically asked for a high-born Telvanni noblewoman and I&#8217;m about as low-born as they come. But sometimes you have to sacrifice specifics in the name of comedy! Also, I gave that guy a slave that I dressed up like a Telvanni woman and he &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.certainly-strange.com\/?p=1326\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;A Plump Telvanni Bride&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[11,366,89,368],"tags":[417,419,378,386,382,418],"class_list":["post-1326","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-art","category-gaming","category-silly","category-videogames","tag-ashkhan","tag-ashlander","tag-morrowind","tag-telvanni","tag-the-elder-scrolls","tag-zainab"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.certainly-strange.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1326","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.certainly-strange.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.certainly-strange.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.certainly-strange.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.certainly-strange.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1326"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"http:\/\/www.certainly-strange.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1326\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1339,"href":"http:\/\/www.certainly-strange.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1326\/revisions\/1339"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.certainly-strange.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1326"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.certainly-strange.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1326"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.certainly-strange.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1326"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}