Unpleasant Pheasant

This post is an update on our resident pheasant (from last week). I decided that I wanted to get a photo of the pheasant for this blog, but I was scared that he would attack me again.

Nonetheless, on Monday I set out to see what kind of shot I could get, only to find that the pheasant was beat up pretty badly. I didn’t know if it was a car or what, but he was in a bad way. He didn’t even bother trying to attack me, he just sat there glaring at me, and occasionally hobbling around pathetically. I really felt bad for him. Even though I hated him, he did not deserve this. But it did make it easy to get a photo.

My Eternal Nemesis
Here you can see his tail feather got bent from the whole ordeal.

I later found out that the pheasant had tried to attack another bicycle commuter, and got tangled in the spokes as it dove into the wheels for its attack. He says that he stopped immediately to try and free the pheasant, as it looked like its neck would snap. And as soon as it was freed it resumed attacking him, totally unphased.

Throughout the week, I noticed that the pheasant had moved to a new location away from the road, and it seemed more skittish. It was a new bird. A humble pheasant, a sad pheasant, and a “oh cyclist how good it is to see you” pheasant. I felt really happy that it was doing better, and it seemed like this whole ordeal would really turn out to be for the better since it seemed to teach him not to attack everything.

But then he got too healthy. And that stupid bird was waiting for me on the road Friday evening after work, and he chased me all the way up that damn hill again. I mean, for fuck’s sake! How did I ever feel sorry for that stupid bird?? Ugh.

At the end of all things, we are destined to die at each others’ hands, locked in eternal combat.

Author: Steen

Steen is a nerdy biologist who spends a lot of time trying to cultivate Chloroflexi, who also likes to draw comics, play video games, and climb.

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