Eldritch Horror

Every aberration has an origin story.

I’ve often been asked, “Steen, how did you get to be the gibbering Eldritch horror you are today?”

At last, in this totally factual tell-all autobiography, you can learn the exciting details of my origin.

Did this creature parasitize me? Did I transform into it? My dear reader, this is for you to decide.

The Unluckiest Game of Oregon Trail

The Oregon Trail: simultaneously enticing and frustrating schoolchildren since 1971

Sometime during my undergrad years, I discovered that you could download The Oregon Trail for PC and play it at your leisure. No more waiting excitedly for the Thursday computer lab session, where you could maybe shoot a bear and then you’d die of dysentery and then you’d have to let your classmate have a go as you looked on frustrated. This was altogether perfect and wonderful. After all, due to the nature of Thursday computer lab sessions, The Oregon Trail was both desired and unobtainable. Urban legends of people “winning The Oregon Trail” were obvious fabrications, that shit was unwinnable – a simple fact of programming.

One of the first things I discovered upon playing The Oregon Trail in college was that: kids are stupid. Continue reading “The Unluckiest Game of Oregon Trail”

Blow a Kiss to Mommy

Blow a kiss.

I sat near a young family on a BART train this weekend, as I rode from 24th street to West Oakland. The parents were in their mid 30s, the first child was perhaps 7 years old, and the second child was perhaps 2. Every family member had some form of assorted luggage with them, even the children. However, as the train approached Embarcadero, the mother began saying goodbye to her family, and kissed her youngest daughter several times as the train pulled up to the stop. The youngest seemed to enjoy her mother’s kisses, but was also calm and mildly disinterested; content to gaze out the window.

Continue reading “Blow a Kiss to Mommy”